Trying to Conceive

So... we're trying to add to our little family.
As much fun as this sounds, it's proving to be less than I had imagined. I'm enjoying being able to experience sex the way it was meant to be, no protection and "finishing" in the traditional manner (previously our birth control was what's known as the withdrawal method). It's a little extra bit of intimacy that's provided a great boost to the number of orgasms I get to have. Which I'm loving!
But the sense of dissapointment we both get when the test comes out negative, and the increasingly regimented times to have sex are getting me down (Him too I suspect).
We were both convinced I'd get pregnant within a few days of trying. A combination of an experience we'd had a few months before the wedding when I got pregnant while on chemical birth control for the first time (and miscarried a few weeks later), and as a reaction to that terror instilled in us as teenagers of getting pregnant if you didn't use every birth control method ever invented : p.
Apparently it's not true...
The next step I can think of is to get some sort of fertility checkup done on the both of us, but my Husband has decided that we should try for a few more months before we start making it a medical process. I agree with his decision in theory, but I'm finding it hard to be patient.
I'm the kind of girl who takes forever to make a decision, and if possible I will avoid decision making like the plague! But once my reluctant mind has shifted into gear and arrived at that decision I expect immediate action! In my mind the decision has been made, so the results should have appeared by now. And if they haven't then they should be helped along a little.
My husband is two years older than me, but in terms of maturity I suspect the gap is closer to ten. He's been ready for children since long before he met me, financially and emotionally. He's just not been able to find someone he was willing to have children with.
For me it took a little longer to get to that place. I'm one of those motherly girls who's thought of having a family since she was a child herself. I've been cooing over babies and toddlers for years, and I've been getting the clucky urges since I was 16 or so. But I was never confident enough in my abilities to care for a child, or be responsible for someone elses mental and emotional wellbeing. My Husband has gradually increased my confidence in my abilities, both professional and personal, to the point where we both thought I was ready to have children. And for that (among other things) I am immeasurably grateful.
So why, since it took so long for the right circumstances to line up, have we not conceived?
It's the unanswerable question that I'm trying desperately to answer...

The first post... Dun dun duuuuuun

I've never blogged before, in fact I'm not really the kind of person who shares their feelings with anyone who isn't a close family member. So feel priveleged random internet users!
In actuality, I'm completely humbled if anyone apart from myself and my husband are reasing this. I can't imagine anything I could possibly say that would be worth of your browsing time but I will endeavour to make it as interesting as I can.

I've only really identified as having a submissive personality for the last 3 years or so. Looking back I can see that I have been my whole life, but I was too busy taking control of every situation, and hating every second of it, to notice.
Since meeting my husband and exploring the world of Dominance and submission I have relaxed so  much. I feel cared for and safe knowing that I always have his strength to fall back on. And knowing that if I can't handle a situation, that he'll be there to take care of things, enables me to feel as though I can do anything.
He's such a wonderful man, caring beyond belief, not afraid to take me to task when I'm out of hand, and wise enough to know which approach to take in every situation.
Which brings me to my reason for starting this blog. When we started out we both wanted a very strict D/s relationship, and I do mean both of us. I could imagine nothing better than having the pressures and overwhelming responsibilities of my old life being taken away. And he was excitied by the prospect of having someone to teach, guide and discipline (for a more accurate portrayal of how he felt you'd have to ask him, but that's how I saw it).
We are in a D/s relationship. He has the last say in the decisions we make. Domestically, we have a very traditional relationship, I cook, clean, take care of him and the house etc etc. But neither of us feel completely fulfilled.
Not that we're uphappy. We love each other wildly and passionately, we enjoy spending time together. We're happy with the love we have, that's not an issue. We just don't feel as though we have what we wanted/expected from a D/s relationship.
I think it's quite possibly a physical thing. His wants and needs in that area are far more extreme than mine. And I have such difficulty getting to the place I need to be in to be able to fulfill those needs. My pain tolerance thresholds vary with my hormones, and I have past trauma's that can unexpectedly come to the fore during play sessions, causing the whole thing to come to a crashing halt, and leaving us both in an odd place.
*sigh*
I think that's about all I can write on this topic for today, I'm feeling a little bit drained.
If anyone does come accross this blog, I would be crazily happy for you to leave your thoughts and/or advice.
Have a lovely day!
Ivy