I love you both, very dearly.
But I am probably a little too aware of your faults (although what 20 something isn't overly aware of their parents faults?). And I am certainly aware of more of them than you know...
Dad, I know about at least 2 of the women you slept with while you and mom were married. And I read those peices that you thought you'd deleted off of the PC you gave me, I wish I could make you all better with kisses and strong words like you did when I was very small.
Mom, I know you're far kinkier than you would have me believe, and I have a good idea about where you got alot of your insecurities. I sometimes wish you would tell me about your traumas, so that I can share mine with you and tell you that they're easier to overcome than you think. But neither of us are really the type to burden others with those details, so it seems unlikely that we ever will have that discussion.
I know other people think that I don't have much of a relationship with you dad, but I'm generally pretty happy with it. We don't share problems very often, and your idea of support is almost always to offer money, or a place to stay. But I enjoy knowing that you're a pillar of support to lean on when I choose to. And I love our philisophical, political, and scientific discussions.
Mom, you're awesome, in pretty much every way possible. I do, on occasion, wish that you'd quit it with the adivce already though :p
Saturday, October 9, 2010
To my crush
You are also the person that I would consider my closest friend...
Can you see why my Husband objects to me spending too much time with you?
I hope that you continue to do well in life, I'm also hoping that you're enjoying it more than the last time we spoke properly.
Can you see why my Husband objects to me spending too much time with you?
I hope that you continue to do well in life, I'm also hoping that you're enjoying it more than the last time we spoke properly.
To my Best Friend
I don't really feel like I have a best friend. I tend to bond very closely with the person I'm in a relationship with, and I find that leaves little space for very close friends.
I'm aware of how much of a cop out that is...
The only person I've met that I consider myself close enough to, and comfortable enough with to perhaps edge towards a really close friendship. Is someone, who for many reasons, my husband is uncomfortable with me spending too much time with.
Couple that with my very shy demeanor, and having just moved to a new state, and I am in a rather friendless state. My Husband likes to mock me for spending too much time on the interwebs, but it's really the only affordable way I have of keeping in touch with the few friends I do have.
So, this is sad pathetic me, writing to a person who could exist if I had the balls to find them. And deciding (once again) be a more outgoing and less cynical person so that I can find you...
We'll see if it works
I'm aware of how much of a cop out that is...
The only person I've met that I consider myself close enough to, and comfortable enough with to perhaps edge towards a really close friendship. Is someone, who for many reasons, my husband is uncomfortable with me spending too much time with.
Couple that with my very shy demeanor, and having just moved to a new state, and I am in a rather friendless state. My Husband likes to mock me for spending too much time on the interwebs, but it's really the only affordable way I have of keeping in touch with the few friends I do have.
So, this is sad pathetic me, writing to a person who could exist if I had the balls to find them. And deciding (once again) be a more outgoing and less cynical person so that I can find you...
We'll see if it works
Monday, October 4, 2010
30 Day Letter Challenge
30 Day Letter Challenge
Day 1 — Your Best Friend
Day 2 — Your Crush
Day 3 — Your parents
Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 — Your dreams
Day 6 — A stranger
Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror
Day 1 — Your Best Friend
Day 2 — Your Crush
Day 3 — Your parents
Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 — Your dreams
Day 6 — A stranger
Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror
I wish...
I wish I had a friend, I would even be so greedy as to say I'd like two or three.
I think this sense of isolation would be lessened if I had someone who wasn't my husband or lived hundreds or thousands of kilometers away to talk to. I miss discussing religion, science, morality, sexuality etc etc etc.
My Husband and I have mostly covered this ground, and he hates going over subjects that we've already discussed. The fact that he remembers the conversation perfectly, and I have trouble even recalling that it occured is completely irrelevant!
I also miss shopping with someone that I'm comfortable with, tha random wandering that I can do with girlfriends that I've had for ages because we're both familiar with each others habits and tastes. There's no secret fear that the other person's actually very bored or mocking you. *sigh*
I'm so very very very bad at making new friends. That's why I married an outgoing, shameless, socially domineering male, to do all that hard introductory, getting to know you, first impression crap. He's so very very good at it that I've lost what little friend making skills I did posess. Uni's been a little helpful in that regard, but I find the 'friends' that I did make so intimidatingly cool that I can't see why they spend any time with me. I feel so certain that they secretly don't really like me and were only hanging out because we were thrown together by class times.
ARGH! I thought life and friendships and self posession all just came easily once you became an adult. I feel like an akward teen still, and I really don't want to feel like this for the rest of my life...
I think this sense of isolation would be lessened if I had someone who wasn't my husband or lived hundreds or thousands of kilometers away to talk to. I miss discussing religion, science, morality, sexuality etc etc etc.
My Husband and I have mostly covered this ground, and he hates going over subjects that we've already discussed. The fact that he remembers the conversation perfectly, and I have trouble even recalling that it occured is completely irrelevant!
I also miss shopping with someone that I'm comfortable with, tha random wandering that I can do with girlfriends that I've had for ages because we're both familiar with each others habits and tastes. There's no secret fear that the other person's actually very bored or mocking you. *sigh*
I'm so very very very bad at making new friends. That's why I married an outgoing, shameless, socially domineering male, to do all that hard introductory, getting to know you, first impression crap. He's so very very good at it that I've lost what little friend making skills I did posess. Uni's been a little helpful in that regard, but I find the 'friends' that I did make so intimidatingly cool that I can't see why they spend any time with me. I feel so certain that they secretly don't really like me and were only hanging out because we were thrown together by class times.
ARGH! I thought life and friendships and self posession all just came easily once you became an adult. I feel like an akward teen still, and I really don't want to feel like this for the rest of my life...
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